I become unreasonable when I am hungry. Low blood sugar turns me into a raving lunatic with anger management issues and tendencies towards violence. I know this. I try to regulate the anger. It doesn’t work. I need to eat regularly. You’d think after 7 years, the mister would pick up on this, but he can be a tiny bit dense.
Me: Wow, I’m hungry. Can we stop and pick something up to eat?
The mister: Sure. I just need to stop by Home Depot, the auto-parts store, the grocery store, Target, the post office, the mall, Walgreens, and my parents’ house.
Me: Um, okay. Can we maybe stop before we get started on that?
Him: Nah, it won’t take long.
Me: concerned silence.
45 minutes pass. My stomach is gnawing on my spine and my mood has dropped a bit. We are only on stop 3.
Me: Listen, I’m really hungry, can we please stop?
Him: I’m almost done.
It’s been another half hour since our last conversation. My stomach is audibly growling and I’m beginning to get the low-blood-sugar-shakes. My mood could now best be classified as irate with a side of irrational.
Me: I am HUNGRY. Stop now and find me a snack.
Him: One more stop.
Twenty minutes pass. We are still dicking around in the aisles of Fleet Farm. I am furious and barely coherent.
Me: FOOD. NOW. Or I will gnaw off your fucking arm.
Him: Um, okay. What do you want? Burger? Pizza? Pasta?
I do not want choices at this point. Choices will only fuel the rage. I can’t think clearly enough to pick a restaurant. The best I can be counted on to do is restrain myself from physically attacking a waitress when she brings the bread basket.
Me: I don’t care.
Him: But you’re so hungry, what do you want?
Me: I. Do. Not. Care. I just want food.
Him: Jeez, there’s no reason to be so angry.
The moment I knew he had truly figured it out was this weekend, when my mood plummeted and I began commenting on how hungry I was. The mister got it and after just a few moments of my bad attitude, pulled into a parking lot, scored us a table for two, and asked for some chips and salsa to be brought out right away.