It’s been nearly a decade and wow, is your life different from what you’re picturing. You’re married now, but not to the boy you swore you’d be married to. You’re a little pudgier than you were planning on, all that school you’re thinking about hasn’t secured your future the way you thought it would, and you’re not driving that sports car yet.
I’ve got some tips for you, some things I want you to think about.
Don’t pin all your hopes and dreams on that boy. He’s not what you think he is and it won’t be long until you’re heartbroken. Get rid of him when you first think of it instead of holding on too hard for too long.
For God’s sake, stand up straight.
You are beautiful. Gorgeous. Stop thinking otherwise. Enjoy those long legs, that skinny waist, and that size four, sweetie, because it’s not going to be there much longer.
Also, stop eating crap. You know better. Doritios, Pop Tarts, and beer are not good for you.
Think twice about law school. I know it seems like a good idea, but it might be one of your biggest mistakes and you will at least partially regret it.
Enjoy your brothers. They’re going to be good men.
Wear sunblock and sunglasses. When you start closing in on your 30s you won’t enjoy having skin cancer scares and crow’s feet nearly as much as you liked that tan.
You were right not to sleep with him. He was cheating on you and probably would have given you something.
Do not open that credit card. DO NOT. Because its turns out to be the first in a string of bad financial decisions and it’s ten years later and you’re trying to crawl out from under a pile of debt. That was a bad idea.
Yes, he’s gay. He doesn’t know it yet, but he is. Stop chasing him.
Stop swearing. This is an ugly habit.
Perfect those napping skills – they’ll see you well through college and grad school.
Travel more. See the world. Learn at least one more language.
Listen to your mother. She’s much smarter than you give her credit for and she knows what she’s talking about.
Appreciate your father. He loves you more than you know and he will be your biggest champion.
You turn out okay. You don't make any truly bad decisions and you're happy with your life. Just try to enjoy it more instead of worrying so much, okay?