My Greatest Skill is Denial

I go to the doctor. Every winter I get horribly dry skin on my hands. This year, it’s even worse and I look like I have the stigmata. I don’t, FYI.

The doctor thinks it’s eczema.

“It’s probably made worse by wool sensitivity. Do you wear wool mittens?”

I pause, thinking of how much wool I come into contact with on a daily basis.

“Um, I knit. Kind of a lot.”

“With wool?”

“Yes.”

“That might be your problem.”

“I don’t have a wool allergy. “

“What you really mean is: I don’t care if I have a wool allergy, I’m going to knit anyway, right?”

“Pretty much.”

(Turns out it’s probably not my knitting – she watched me knit and noted where the wool runs over my skin. The worst areas on my hand don’t actually come into contact with my knitting, so in this case, my denial was well placed.)

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I’m knitting a wedding shawl for my friend Kate. It is, if I say so myself, beautiful. Buttery soft luscious Malabrigo lace-weight yarn, a floaty, delicate pattern that she chose out of an incredible book of designs, hours (upon hours) of work. It’s well on its way to stunning.

It also has an ink stain on it.

An uncapped pen came into contact with it and bled like a son-of-a-bitch. This happened about 2 hours ago. The shawl is 90% finished. If the ink doesn’t wash out, I will need to rip back about 45 rows (of 600+ stitches each) slice off the offending ink stained yarn, and start afresh. With 10 days left before her shower.
I’m going with it will wash out rather than the screaming, panicking and tearing around with tears in my eyes that I want to do.

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I seem to be deluded about my ability to handle sleep deprivation as well. My new hours at work involve staying until 11:30 or midnight.

I get home by 12:30-ish, read for a little while to wind down, and get to sleep by 1:30. The mister’s alarm goes off at 6:30.

I’m an 8-9 hours of sleep a night kind of girl, but I keep thinking I can operate just fine of 5 hours of sleep.

WRONG.

I could carry groceries in the bags under my eyes. I’m bitchy, snappy, and irritable. After 6 months of greatly reducing my caffeine intake, I’m back up to 6 or 8 cups of coffee a day, most of them well after noon.
I keep thinking I’ll get so much done if I get up when the mister does. What really happens is that I get up, slouch my way to the couch and sit there, vegetable-like for several hours, maybe getting up to walk the dog or toss in a load of laundry, but mostly, sitting. Then the mister comes home for lunch, we eat, I slouch my way to the gym where I half-ass a workout. Then I slouch my way home, shower, and sit my ass on the couch for another hour before heading to work.

I’m trying a new thing this week. It’s called ignoring the mister’s alarm clock and sleeping for another couple of hours after he leaves. I’m going to follow this with getting up and actually moving around instead of laying on the couch reading trashy books and eating cereal straight out of the box.

It's the Little Things

It’s been awhile. I’d apologize, but I’ve been busy!

First, foremost, and most exciting, I got a job! It’s a 4-month temp job that should get me through the end of the year, with the potential to be extended or maybe (hopefully) go full time. It’s not precisely the kind of job I was hoping to get, more along the lines of pitching in the minor leagues than starting in the majors, but it is a JOB, with a paycheck and self-worth. I’ll take it and be glad for it!

Second, my little Neon, faithful as it was for the last six months, is going bye-bye. It needs some work, none of it cheap, and I don’t feel like dealing with it. So, I’m going to sell it. I picked up a used Jeep Cherokee that’s a vast improvement over the neon – it shifts into reverse and third without me muttering prayers from the driver’s seat.

Third, I got my hair done. I keep thinking my hair is either wet or greasy because it’s usually only this dark when it’s one of those two things, but I do like the darker color. More natural, less brassy.

Fourth, the mister has been wearing the socks I made for him. As the temperature dropped he dug them out of his dresser and started wearing them. He refers to them as his “real socks.” Darling man.