Brief update on my parents: they're pretending like nothing happened. Lalalala, we're great, wonderful, fine. Last weekend never happened! My response: oh, hell no. I at least deserve an update. I don't want lots of details, that's none of my business, but you two DRAGGED me into this, you're not shutting me out now.
Now, a quote from my dad about a mutual acquaintance: his little red choo-choo periodically goes chugging right off the tracks.
In addition to being hilarious, this is very, very accurate.