My habit during unemployment has been to get up, spend some time looking for jobs (with a strict no messing around on the internet rule to prevent getting sucked into a youtube hole and never surfacing). Then, I go to the gym and sweat for an hour or so and come home for a shower.
Once I’m clean, I don’t really rush to put clothes back on. I mean, there’s no one here to see me and it’s not like anyone I know is free to just drop by in the afternoons to surprise me, so I just hang out in my undies.
Today I was clad in a pair of St. Patrick's themed undies (they were on sale!) and a towel turban, smoothing on moisturizer after my shower, when I happened to notice a guy in my yard snapping pictures of my house.
Key point: the window in my bathroom is shoulder high, so he, if he could see anything, could only see the bobbing of my towel as I bumped and ground my way through Britney’s Circus.
Still, PANIC! I hit the deck so fast I gave myself whiplash, and then I belly-crawled my way to my bedroom so I could slip on some pants and a zip-up sweatshirt.
Then I rushed out into the yard, braless with my towel turban all askew, and did the, “ExcUSE me, can I help you with something?’ thing, with my cell phone clutched in my hand, prepared to dial 911 if the guy made a single move I didn’t like.
I startled the shit out of him and he snapped around to face me, bobbling his camera and the measuring tape he had clutched in his hands.
“Uh, hi. I’m Ed,” he offered.
Apparently that was supposed to mean something to me, but I had no idea who he was.
“What are you doing on my lawn, Ed?”
“I’m a friend of your husband’s, we mountain bike together. I do gutter installations and last night he, uh, asked me to, um, stop by and take a look at your gutters. I told him I’d be stopping out today.”
I sighed. Poor Ed. I stuck out my hand and introduced myself properly, apologized for shouting at him, and explained that sometimes my husband does things without informing me.
Ed, bless his little heart, was immediately apologetic. “If I’d known you weren’t expecting me, I would have knocked and introduced myself,” he said. “I imagine that would be a little scary, seeing some stranger taking pictures of your house.”
“Especially given what I was wearing,” I mumbled under my breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing,” I replied. “Well, take your measurements and let me know if there’s anything you need.”