Friday, March 20, 2009

A Public Service Announcement for Women

Warning: this post involves my hoohaa. And hair removal. If this isn’t your idea of interesting, move on.

So, boredom is my worst enemy. I tend to get into trouble when I’m bored. I tend to look for trouble when I’m bored.

This time, I decided on waxing. Of the Brazilian variety. Go big or go home, after all.

When I mentioned this to a couple of friends, they were all ears. We all deal with trying to keep that area…tidy, and we all hate shaving and the resultant razor burn and ingrown hairs. Apparently every woman I know has toyed with the idea of waxing, but lacked the courage or motivation to go forward with it.

So, I did it.

And as a public service to women like me and my friends, I’ll let you in on my experience.

I got to the salon, checked in, and perused the latest issue of People.

My waxer called me back and ushered me into a private room with a table in it like a dentist’s chair, fully reclined.

She instructed me to undress from the waist down, hop up on the table, and cover up my bottom half with a little paper blankie.

She whisked the blankie away when she got back into the room and got down to business. Half an hour later, done!

Things to know:

Yes, it hurts. Most of it is completely tolerable. A deep breath and you’re over it. Only two strips were more painful than that; the two right between my legs. Yeeearch. Those stung.

A full Brazilian wax includes getting your heinie waxed. This does not hurt at all, shockingly.

There are some very embarrassing and compromising positions involved in a Brazilian wax. Holding your own legs and crouching on all fours come to mind.

You will sweat. Profusely. Something about the pain triggers your adrenal glands, which triggers your sweat glands, apparently. The little butcher-paper liner on the table was damp with sweat and stuck rather unbecomingly to my legs when I moved. For those of you with tattoos, this is the same reaction I had when I was about 20 minutes into my tattoo.

The waxer is not surprised by anything. She does this for a living and sees all sort of stuff, so your embarrassment at sweating and/or crouching on all fours with your ass in the air is totally wasted on her.

I had a small amount of swelling and inflammation, but FAR less than I get when I have my eyebrows waxed.

All in all, not bad. And if I manage to avoid ingrown hairs, I think I’ll prefer it to shaving.

Where I went: Bare.


MOLLY said...

You are one brave girl, Buster. Rrrrrriiiiiiiiiiippppppppppppp!

JM said...

Most embarrassing part for me? Having the waxer lift up my belly roll so she could get to all of my hair. Worse than getting on all fours by a long shot.

Buster said...

Oh, God, JM, that's hilarious. You know, embarrassing too, but mostly hilarious.

Have you done it more than once - any tips for the repeat visit?

Meg said...

Two questions:

1. How much did it cost?
2. How often do you have to go in for upkeep? Every month?

Buster said...

Cost: $60 for first time visit, plus tip. "Maintenance" is less. Also, standard issue bikini wax or a "tiny-bikini" wax are between $10 and $20 cheaper. I have no idea what a "tiny bikini" wax is, but I'm guessing it doesn't involve the all-fours business.

The waxer suggested between 6 and 8 weeks for return visits, depending on regrowth. Hair needs to be at least 1/4 inch long before it can be waxed.

So, the cost can get high in a hurry if your hair grows quickly, but for summer, it might be worth it. In the winter I don't even bother with shaving my legs very often.

(Admit it, the mister is a lucky man!)

Molly said...

Heck yes the mister is a lucky man! Bob said I should do the same - but now that I know they would have to lift up my belly roll to get to the hair - HELL NO!