Friday, September 4, 2009

Phenomenon

I am unemployed (still), money is tight, stress is running high, and sometimes I feel like I'm holding shit together by static cling. But I can get through my day. I can shove it down, swallow the feelings of anxiety, worry, and outright panic and I can make it.

But the minute I see or talk to my mom, I lose it. Tears, sobs, that annoying inability to articulate what my problem is. It's like the minute I see her, I revert to a four-year-old with a skinned knee, where I can hold back the tears until my mom is there to make it better, and then that's it, I let go.

But she can't make it better. This isn't a bloody elbow that she can cover with a bandaid and fix with a hug.

And yet, sobs.

3 comments:

MOLLY said...

Thank goodness for Mama Buster. She's awesome & so are you!

Meg said...

I do the same thing when I'm sick and talk to my mom...there's just something about talking to your mommy that brings out the little kid in us. Hang in there!

Pickles and Dimes said...

Ack. I'm so sorry! I hope things turn around for you soon. We're on month 7 of unemployment and it is tough.

BTW, your knitting is gorgeous! We should meet up sometime and I will annoy you with all my knitting questions.