I’ve been unemployed for 4 months now.
At first, it was fun. I was happy to be out of my former place of employment, with its dysfunction and stress. I was happy to sleep at night for the first time in several months. I was happy to start my new adventure, to find a job I would love, to have a little bit of down time while I looked for employment.
Now, though, it’s just sad. I’m trying to be accepting of my position, but really, it fucking sucks.
I’m not cut out to stay at home all day. I hate housework and dishes and mowing the lawn twice a week. I miss feeling useful, putting my mind to work every day, doing SOMETHING with my time.
I miss earning a paycheck.
I’ve papered the upper Midwest in resumes. I’ve sent resumes for jobs in Brussels and Colorado (the mister is fine with relocating if I can find a decent job). I’ve emailed and called and sent letters to complete strangers with whom I have even the most tenuous of connections (we went to the same undergrad, 3 decades apart, hire me!).
The occasional lunch, offers to meet and discuss the market, some volunteer work that I’ve enjoyed, but nothing on the job front.
I want a job.
Today I set a new record for rejections letters/emails received in one day: 5.
Despite dealing with the disappointment of rejection rather frequently over the last few months, this stung. Not even an interview. Seriously, what is wrong with me that I can’t find a job?